Not your typical idol

"You're our idol, Johanna! May we get your autograph?" This is what my dance class students said to me (grinning widely) after the show was over last night. They had seen me perform in two dances, a khaleegy group dance and an estrade trio with my friends Heli and Satu. I told them I'd give them the autographs in January, if they still wanted them then...

The dances went surprisingly well. The stage was about the size of a stamp and a bit tilted towards the audience (always a small yikes-factor there). Made it very interesting to dance a group dance of six people. Especially wearing khaleegy dresses, which require a bit of room to handle. They really are gorgeous pieces of clothing, but the sequins and such are a hazard. If you don't leave enough room between two dancers wearing these dresses, the dresses get mingled up and then there's nothing else to do but rip them apart while sequins and beads fly about (and naturally the dance goes on and the smiles never fade)... Phew, luckily I didn't get stuck with anyone.

I love that dress, too bad there's really not that many occasions for me to use it. Of course we'll be performing that same choreography in a few shows in the spring, but after that... Khaleegy dances aren't that common in dance group repertoires. I think I'll have to suggest to Heli that we'd warm up an old khaleegy choreography we had five-six years ago.

The second dance I was in was the estrade choreography made by Sirke Seppänen - the one I learned on that weekend course in October. We'd been able to rehearse it together (the three of us, Satu, Heli and myself) only once, so I wasn't feeling that comfortable at all with that. Not only was there the choreography I thought I wasn't quite up to, but also my dress was causing me misery. I don't have a decent dress for estrade. I only have one dress, and I've been using it for a while already. I'm so not happy with it. It'd need some remodelling and some more decorations (more sequines and beads and such, that is) and it still would only be an ok dress, not a gorgeous one. So I was having some serious thoughts of self-loathing before getting on stage. I can't dance, I have an ugly dress, and so on.

The best part of the whole thing was, however miserable I felt about the dance and the dress before, that we did manage to get through the dance well enough and we got very good feedback afterwards. I don't care how objective the opinions were (or were not), but at least two people said our performance was one of the absolute best ones. Whee. That, if anything, is a boost for my lately very low self esteem. And maybe the dress problem will be solved in a while, since I'm having a dress made for me and we (Heli, Satu and I) did plan on having dresses made for us soon for occasions like this, when we perform as a trio. It's so important to feel comfortable in your dress when you perform. I'd like to be able to not worry about dress questions and concentrate on learning the choreographies... One of these days, I'm sure...

Oh well. I suppose I'll post this now. The weather outside is not very nice (pouring rain, strong gusts of wind), but I had thought I'd do the rest of my Christmas shopping today, which would mean I'll have to defy the weather at least for a while - as long as it takes me to get to the bus stop and the bus to come...