This is why history ROCKS!

I'm so thrilled I can barely hold myself down. I put on a black shirt and hung my eight-pointed Maltese cross around my neck (just so everyone knows I'm all for the Knights Hospitaller!) and went to see Ridley Scott's Kingdom of Heaven today and OMG it was good! For many reasons, some more obvious than others...

First of all, now I know I'm unbelievably lucky. I'm a 21st century historian researching the knightly orders of the crusades and as such, luckier than generations of historians before me. This is probably the first time in history since the 12th century for a historian to see Knights Templar charge into battle. I had chills down my spine throughout the movie (yes, yes, not all of them thanks to the historical stuff, but I'll get to that later) , just because on the screen before me there were places and people who, to me, are familiar from so many studies and books. And don't you dare spoil my sheer joy of the imagery by saying they were just actors! They were historical research papers and documents come to life, for me. Something I've been able to visualize in my head, for sure, but to see the Templars ride into battle or to see the Hospitallers taking care of the sick in their hospital - what an amazing treat! I love being able to think to myself "Wow, it really could've looked like that!". It's the romantic in me, but I don't care. I love it.

There are, naturally, some shortcuts and twists in the story, that aren't word for word "true". But then, there were quite a few scenes that were almost word for word what was said in the situation in 1187 (or so), at least according to my sources. Like the scene with Salah ad-Din and Guy de Lusignan and Reynald de Chatillon after the former has taken the two latter as prisoners. Salah ad-Din offers a drink to Guy de Lusignan, who then offers the cup to Reynald. (Who just happens to be one of the men Salah ad-Din hates most in the world. Long story.) Salah ad-Din is offended and says to Reynald that the cup wasn't offered to him and that it will be the last drink Reynald will ever have. And surely enough, he is immediately escorted outside and there beheaded by Salah ad-Din. Here the director follows a crusader's account on the event almost to the word. (Whether the drink Salah ad-Din offered was really mashed ice, is debatable, but other than that, it was about as accurate as a separate scene can be.)

Probably the biggest complaint I have about the shortcuts is, naturally, the existence of king Baldwin IV in the year 1187, which is the year the movie is mainly all about. The Leper King of Jerusalem had died a few years earlier and left as his heir his sister Sibylla's infant son, who then dies very soon and leaves the leaders of Jerusalem in a sticky situation. The late king, Baldwin IV, had stated in his last will, that the count of Tripoli, Raymond, should act as a regent until a new king is appointed by the pope, the patriarch of Jerusalem and the kings of England and France together. Well, due to some marriage arrangements gone awry in the past, this doesn't suit the Grand Master of the Templars, Girard de Ridfort and his supporters. All kinds of scheming follow, but in the end we get the same situation that the movie shows us - Sibylla is crowned Queen of Jerusalem and she then crowns her husband Guy de Lusignan to reign with her as King of Jerusalem.

I thought it was too bad that they didn't tell everything about the coronation and the scandal with the keys to the chest that held the regalia. That story is one of my favorites, as it shows what an honorable man the Grand Master of the Hospitallers was. Roger des Moulins was one of the only men opposing the crowning of Sibylla. He refused to give his key to be used in the ceremony. There were three keys to the chest, you see. One was kept by the patriarch of Jerusalem and the other two by the Grand Masters of the Templars and Knights Hospitaller. The other two had broken their vows to the late king, but Roger des Moulins wouldn't hear of it. (Ah, the fact that he eventually threw the key through a window to the courtyard only shows us that he too was a human and got very upset by the pressure piled on him by the others. Naturally the key was found without difficulties and the regalia gotten out of the chest. But I still like the story.)

Ok, enough of the historical nitpicking for now. Here's a reasonably good and fairly short article on what happened during the late 12th century in Jerusalem. Lots and lots of revenge, scheming, boneheadedness and plain greed! In the end, though, it all came down to men being such idiots when it comes to women. If that one arranged marriage would've worked out as it was supposed to (from the point of view of Girard de Ridfort), the history of Jerusalem could be completely different. Speculate on that. I sure will.

Then, the utterly and shamelessly fangirlish part of it all. Orlando Bloom. Oy, oy, oy! He's grown into a man, he has! And with the full Aragorn-effect working for him, too. Scruffy, dirty and omg how hot. He's just out-of-this-world-gorgeous! Plain and simple as that. Now I only want to see a movie with him and Ioan Gruffudd in it and I could die a happy girl. I'm thinking Ioan could play Will Turner's (Orlando's) long lost big brother in the PotC-series... *swoon*

Aaanyway. I can't wait for this movie to come out on DVD and actually, next week when I get my last salary from Lieto, I'll go and buy the soundtrack immediately. Beautiful medieval/oriental -music, with Natacha Atlas performing at least one of the theme songs! Wonderful!

I think Ridley Scott did an excellent job with the movie. I've heard that some people have complained about the story being boring or pointless, but I just don't agree with it. Sometimes, if you really want to bring real, documented history to life, the stories are bound to be less exciting than your average Hollywood action no-brainer. Then again, what is exciting? The fall of Jerusalem isn't? The story of Balian d'Ibelin, who actually paid a fortune in gold to get the poor people of Jerusalem out of the fallen city unharmed, is boring? The story of a great moslem leader, Salah ad-Din, is surely about as non-exciting as stories get? Well, I'm sorry, I just happen to disagree. Aren't I glad I'm a historian. I'm allowed to get reaaaally excited about dusty and boring old stories like these!

Ahh, there. Once again a movie I could go on and on about, but I have to restrain myself, because there's nobody on this planet who would read through all of my rants. In fact I'm very surprised if any of you got this far without yawning... I sure didn't. :) But that's because it's time I got to bed, I'm all done for tonight. Tomorrow's a big day. The prep course begins, yikes.

Oddly irritated

Not my day today. I started out really tired in the morning after a night not so well slept. I think my stress levels are getting to the point where my sleep is beginning to suffer -that and the fact that I feel like my temperature is a bit high is confirming my diagnosis. Stress, stress, stress.

I can't wait I get the history course going. At the moment I'm basically coming up with all these dreadful scenarios of wise-cracking kids running me over after reading the required researches six, seven times whereas I'll be lucky if I have time to go through them twice. Aagh. I'm almost a friggin' MA already and I'm scared of some kids who want to get into the University?? I so seriously need the course to begin so I can prove to myself again that I might actually be qualified to teach them...

Today I prepared for Monday's class, which will be on the Western view over the African scenery. You know, how the tropic is a mix of fantasy and colonialistic ideas, how the white man had to conquer the wild nature by shooting at everything and posing next to the dead animals. All a part of the colonialistic tradition and Western view. I think the research is really pretty interesting and easy to grasp (apart from a few odd bits where I think the ideas have been worded out really badly), but as such I'm not quite sure what the students will want to ask about it. What should I be prepared for? Well, at the moment I'm prepared for lots and lots of essays for them to write as rehearsals. Those should keep them busy and processing everything they need to know.

It's going to be a bit tougher with the research on diseases. It covers such a long stretch of history (and pre-history!) that it's going to be a challenge to teach it all in only 9 hours. Sounds like plenty of time, doesn't it? It's really not. I think I'm going to be scurrying like a little furry critter to get everything done in time. The students will need time to write essays, we'll need time to discuss everything, for them to get feedback... Teaching sure is one of those jobs where you really have to work for your salary.

But this is all "bubbling under" stuff. The more acute irritation is the result of... the Finnish dialects. I had the exam today and it just felt like I had forgotten everything I had ever heard about the subject. My brain just doesn't think like a linguist. It thinks like a historian, which means big pictures and such. I just cannot remember which representations of the ts are used in all the Western dialects. I can remember two (possibly three), just because I happen to be a native speaker of the Southwestern dialect. So I know I say "mettä" and "mettään" or "metässä" instead of "metsä" / "metsään" / "metsässä", but somehow I think that doesn't quite cover it. I think I may have to go and take the exam again next week. If, for some wildly strange reason I pass the exam this time around, it sure won't be because I knew what I was doing...

So I'm irritated for forgetting the exam and therefore not having enough time to study for it, I'm irritated because the exam was actually about the lectures, which were held about half a year ago, I'm irritated because I had to borrow someone else's notes (I was working in Nousiainen for the most part of the course in the fall) and couldn't understand half of them... Excuses are the lamest thing in the world, but somehow they comfort me and make me feel less like a total idiot when it comes to the details of my own language. Aagh. Stupid me.

Then again, I might not be a complete disaster after all. Look at the result of this mythological goddess test. You know, I do carry the ankh around my neck almost all the time nowadays and besides, I think the sistrums sound nice and mystical. :)

Isis Indeed, you are 75% erudite, 70% sensual, 50% martial, and 33% saturnine.

This Egyptian supreme Goddess is certainly the most influential deity on subsequent cultures. She was the ideal figure of womanhood, usually compared with the Greek Goddess Demeter or her Roman version, Ceres. Isis was one element of a Holy Trinity, the remaining two figures being her brother and husband Osiris and their heroic son Horus. She was the Goddess of Magic for her brilliance, as well as the Goddess of Love because of her tenacious devotion. She is often shown with wings, curving to caress coffins and sarcophagi of many a king. In certain papyri she is shown with her falcon wing headdress, covering her ears. One of her sacred symbols is the sistrum, a musical instrument that was believed to ward off evil spirits. Isis' sistrum was carved bearing the image of a cat and was representative of the Moon. Isis was the High Priestess and an omnipotent magician as well as the only being ever to discover the secret name of Ra. She invariably carries the ankh, the symbol for eternal life. Her name is, by the rules of numerology, adding up to the number “2” and she just so happens to be depicted on the tarot card “Key 2 – The High Priestess”.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 51% on erudite You scored higher than 17% on sensual You scored higher than 48% on martial You scored higher than 13% on saturnine

Link: The Mythological Goddess Test written by Nitsuki on Ok Cupid

Real love

My mom and dad began dating 30 years ago today. Within a year they were married, and they still are, quite happily. This is what I want to find, because I think if theirs isn't real love, I don't know what is. Thirty years and going on strong. Wow.

I'll keep my eyes open tonight when we go to celebrate May Day. The day has a good vibe to it. ;) Although I don't have that much time for the scenery (heh) before we go to my friends' place where there will be four married couples and me. The quality of the company is without a doubt extremely high, there's just no chance for me to meet anyone new there. Oh well, I'd rather spend the evening with good friends than wander from full-packed bar to another tonight, anyhow. :)

In other words,

Hauskaa vappua kaikille!

It's done

Now I've done it. I've officially and finally taken the step towards separation from my dear car. I posted a "for sale" message in a Skoda enthusiasts' forum. Now I can only hope someone buys it and gives it a good home. *snif*


Here's my darling in front of our house in Nousiainen.

Oh, the times we've had together...

Frustration hits

Argh, argh, argh. No matter how much I try, I just cannot do everything all at once! I'm getting so frustrated.

Yes, I should be working on those Eximia course materials like crazy by now, but it's not happening. I'm not saying I haven't done anything, because I really have. Today, for example, I met the two tutors, who will be helping the students with their studies. We sat down and had a very good meeting, which actually cleared many things for me.

But wouldn't life be easy, if that'd be all that I have to do? Yep, it'd be too easy and quite frankly, not my life, either. :)

Luckily I'm still quite optimistic about having everything under control. I have a week and a half to plan most of the lessons for the Eximia course. I have a week to study for my Finnish dialects exam. I have no hope of touching anything that has to do with my thesis, though, for at least another three or so weeks. Frustrating.

And as the icing on the cake, we have Spin. I'm not exactly sure when the first number of the year is going to be done. It all depends on the printing company at the moment, so there's really nothing I can do about that. I'm hoping we'll get it out by the end of the week.

Which then brings me to the issue of deadlines. A word that makes my bloodpressure rocket skyhigh at the moment. The deadline for the second Spin of the year is on Friday, you see. But as it happens, the zine has had a very poor record of being published when it's supposed to in the recent past. Which is one of the reasons why I was asked to become the editor in the first place. Sort of. And now it seems I'm fighting against windmills and old relics of habits.

How am I ever supposed to get the zine back on track if people think I'm not serious about the deadlines? I'd like to scream out of sheer angst over some things that have been said to me lately. It's like I'm being treated like everything I say is a joke. It's not like I emailed everyone on the voluntary staff about all the deadlines for this year in friggin' January just so that they could shrug it off because the deadlines haven't been followed in the past either! And just because Spin 1/05 hasn't been delivered to everyone's door yet, it doesn't mean that I'm not already working on the second number and that the deadline shouldn't be followed by everyone else, too. *angst attack and utter frustration*

I know I'm a rookie. I know I'm also a young(ish) woman trying to be an editor. I know I'm a person who doesn't like to get mad at anyone and most of all, I know I absolutely HATE it when I'm not taken seriously when I actually mean to be serious (yes, I can be serious sometimes!). And I'd really, really like to have people listen to me in the matters of this zine I'm supposed to be the editor of. But as the case is, I'm mightily pissed off (excuse my language here) and angry about the attitude of some people.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. *sigh*

Bookish fun

Yay, Vierran45 passed this one to me, whee. :) Lemmesee, if I can do this...

You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451. Which book do you want to be?
Ursula Le Guin's The Wizard of Earthsea.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
I don't have to tell you how many times, now do I? :)

The last book you finished is?
On the non-fictional side it was William H. McNeill: Plagues and Peoples and from the wonderful world of fiction it was actually George R.R. Martin: A Clash of Kings (Finnish translation).

What are you currently reading?
At the moment only (!) three books at the same time, usually I have more...

Kristiina Kalleinen: "Isänmaani onni on kuulua Venäjälle" - Vapaaherra Lars Gabriel von Haartmanin elämä
Dorothy Dunnet: The Game of Kings
Guy Gavriel Kay: The Summer Tree (Finnish translation)

Five books you would take to a deserted island?
Oh dear, this is a tough one.

Well, let's begin with the obvious and see what else is there...
J.R.R. Tolkien: Lord of the Rings
Gabriel García Márquez: Hundred Years of Solitude (my old favourite ever since mom gave it to me when I was leaving to the States for a year - I'm not quite sure she didn't intend the pun...)
Väinö Linna: Tuntematon sotilas (The Unknown Soldier)
Mika Waltari: Sinuhe egyptiläinen (The Egyptian)
Ursula Le Guin: The Earthsea -series

I'd probably want to take quite a lot more of books with me, like for instance the complete Sandman-series, but these would keep me busy for a while.

Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and why?
Tytti.
Aino.
Kaisa.

Well, because these ladies visit my blog and have a blog or lj of their own to post this to in their turn. In addition, I would've liked to say Robert, but his blog concentrates on different matters... Hey, Rob, if you want to take the challenge anyway, post your answers as comments to my blog! :)

It's just a drill...

Lately I've felt like I live on a construction site. There's an excavation in the front yard, which has effectively blocked the front door for a week or so (there was some plumbing or whatever that had to be fixed, so first they dug up the old pipes, put in the new ones and now they're filling the hole, so I'm hoping I can use the front door on Monday again...), there were the nice guys who came in yesterday to check the ventilation in my apartment (and all the other apartments, too - yet another project going on around here) and then there is my upstairs neighbour, who is apparently renovating the newly bought apartment before moving in, which is understandable.

Plus, in a week or so, there's going to be a code lock system installed to our front door, which is very nifty. I won't have to drop my keys to my friends from the balcony anymore. Although it was somehow nicely Shakespearean to come out to the balcony to greet a friend who would come by later in the evening when the front door was already locked...

So what's the downside? We're obviously going to have more effective plumbing in the building, since the new pipes won't have tree roots in them (that was the problem with the old one, we're told) and the air in our apartments is going to be cleaner. And our friends can get in by just punching in the right code. Just great.

And in a way I'm also happy for my neighbour, who's going to have a nice renovated apartment to move in to. Good for him / her / them.

Unfortunately the new neighbour hasn't impressed me much. Woken me up a lot, though. Which is the topic of my complaining today.

Why oh why is it mandatory to use any / all powertools ridiculously early in the morning? Like before 8 a.m.? It must be some kind of rule of renovating. "If you need to use your drill / powertool for 15 minutes during the whole day, be sure you use it before 8 a.m." Seriously. This guy has woken me up at least on four mornings already, just about 10 minutes before my alarm goes off at 8 o'clock. It annoys the heck out of me to have to wake up to the roaaaarrr or screeeeech of a powertool - why can't he wait till, say, 8.30 a.m.? And honestly, after he's used the drill for (at the most) half an hour, he doesn't pick it up once during the rest of the day. Argh. I need and want all the minutes of sleep I can get! *sigh* I so want to live in a house of my own...

I promised I'd post a few more pictures of the show today, so here you go.


This is Mansikki, the Dreadful Dragon, chilling in my livingroom before the performance.


Here's our magnificent trio, Sharifa (Heli), Gamila (Satu) and Fikriya (yours truly), off to save the glassbowl of light...

(Nour-il-Omri, the Light of Life, was actually a glassbowl with blue Christmas lights in it. Very stylish, as the lights could be turned on/off from a switch in the base of the whole thing. The bowl was upside down, you see. In a tinfoil wrapping. Ah, I think you needed to see the thing to understand, hehe.)


The feast in the Magical Forest, our opening scene.

So there. Now I'm off to watch some tv. And read some more about Lars Gabriel von Haartman, who is a very notable figure in Finnish history during the time of autonomy. He was a busy man, that fellow.

Meet Fikriya...

Here are two pictures of me in full costume for last Saturday's performance (thanks to Satu for taking them). Not too bad, even though I say so myself. ;) I think I should spend some time in the gym doing something to my "wobbly bits" (as Bridget Jones so nicely put it) around my tummy, but there's still time before the bikini season begins, right? :P


See all those beads and sequins? Those are the ones that kept me awake for six nights...


And some more beads and sequins...

I'll post more pictures tomorrow, now I'm too tired... Nighty night.

My inner European

Vierran45 had this little meme in her lj, so naturally I snitched it from her.

Your Inner European is Italian!

Passionate and colorful. You show the world what culture really is.

Who's Your Inner European?

I like the boots, anyway. :)

And then I found this. My Celtic horoscope from the same site the meme above was originally taken. Nice.

You Are A Maple Tree

There's not anyone in this world quite like you. You are full of imagination, ambition, and originality. Shy but confident, you hunger for new experiences. You have a good memory and learn easily. You are sometimes nervous and always complex (especially in love).

What is Your Celtic Horoscope?

Complex? Who, me? ;)

Habemus papam!

Turns out I was more of a pessimist rather than an optimist when I thought the cardinals might need one more day to find a new supreme pontiff, as the catholic world now has a new pope, the German born Joseph Ratzinger, who chose as his papal name Benedict XVI.

It'll take a while to learn to say that, since for all my life the title of the pope has seemed to be "pope John Paul II" (in Finnish it sounds more like a single title - paavi Johannes Paavali - especially if it's said quickly) and all the Benedicts were just names from the past.

What is interesting, is that the cardinals in their conclave decided to choose Ratzinger, who now became the oldest pope chosen in a century or so. His papacy will not, I think I'll be safe to assume, be nearly as long as his predecessor's, since he is already 78 years old. Maybe he was chosen, because the church doesn't want a second consecutive papacy as long as John Paul's was. But they do seem to want the conservative line to continue, since Ratzinger is known to support the late pope's principals in many ways.

Time will tell, I suppose.

(I missed the white smoke by probably just a minute or so, as I was flipping back and forth from BBC's coverage to other programs, darn it. But I did get tuned in on BBC before it was confirmed that the smoke was indeed white and before the bells of St. Peter's began tolling. And I did catch the Latin declaration of "Habemus papam!" Yay. That's tv-entertainment.)

Chimney watch

Good grief. Who would've thought that watching a tiny chimney on tv could be so exciting? Will there be smoke tonight? Probably, because there hasn't been an announcement telling the world that the college of cardinals has left the building... (Haha.)

I'm sitting glued to my sofa (except for now, of course - and damn it, if the puff of smoke arises while I sit here!) and watching BBC World's live coverage from the Vatican. The cardinals in the Sistine Chapel are voting away behind locked doors and people all around the world are watching that chimney. Any bets on when the college of cardinals will arrive at a result and the Catholic world will have a new pope? I'm thinking Wednesday, third ballot? :) That could be a bit optimistic, because that would mean only eight rounds of voting (one tonight, four per day from tomorrow on), but hey, I'm an optimistic person. And I'm thinking they might select an Italian pope again. A wild guess.

Btw, I'm not going to bet my money on any of this. Not one cent. So that you know and there are no misunderstandings. You can bet anything you want, I'm just playing with the thought. :)

Edit about 10 minutes later: Well, there was smoke. And also an oddly intense moment, when the BBC reporter pondered: "That does look white to me..." Gasp! But after a while, it was clearly black smoke. Quite a bit of it, too. I wouldn't have thought 115 ballot cards on a string would've made the chimney huff and puff for so long. I wonder what chemicals they use to secure the color of the smoke? Hmm.

Eek! My eyelashes are falling!

It's showtime. Or was, yesterday. And as you can see, I'm still alive!

I've been performing so much over the past 10 or so years that I don't usually fret about it much anymore. Only a few small butterflies in my tummy, which is absolutely necessary for everything to go well. I quite like being on stage. I don't like to watch myself on video afterwards, but at least most people tell me I look decent enough when I perform.

Yesterday's show was a bit different. I had to be on stage through the whole thing with Satu and Heli, since we were supposed to be the trio that saves the day along Nour-il-Omri, the Light of Life. As much as I wanted to be an actress when I was a kid (after seeing 1000 and 1 Nights in the local theatre), I don't think I was meant to be one. I don't think I'd have the talent for it, which is one of the reasons I was pretty nervous before the curtains opened. Am I going to look like a statue of salt or like an idiotic clown when prancing around not dancing?

I was also very uncertain about my solo dance, since I had to hassle with the huge velvet cloak, which eventually led to me improvising the final parts of the dance. I felt like I had two left feet and absolutely no sense of balance or control over what I was doing. I don't think the audience noticed it, but I felt somewhat dissatisfied afterwards. And I couldn't even go backstage to grumble about it, darn it. Oh well.

Truth be told, I think the show went well. Some small technical problems (with the sound on the stage, with the lighting and such, nothing catastrophic, though) for sure, but over all the dances looked like they went well for everyone. Ilkka, our young guest star, performed an amazing "Forging the Sword" -dance in the style of Riverdance. He got the loudest cheers, which was no surprise. I think the dance world will hear of this young man yet. He's so talented and obviously very motivated. It's wonderful to see such enthusiasm in a 15-year old.

You know that old saying of rolling stones and moss? I was thinking I'd be happy to gather a bit of green growth after this show was over. I suppose I should've known better... Anu and Heli are already planning on taking this same performance "on tour", to be performed for school kids or at least once more on stage in Uusikaupunki. Honestly, it would be dumb not to do that, since there was quite a lot of work done for the show and for what - only one performance? Not really worth it, I guess. But at the same time I'm so glad they're talking about schedules for next spring, and not like in two months time. Anyhow, at least I already have an embroidered dress for any future showings of "The Light of the Magical Woods". I'll post a few pictures later next week when I get them on cd. (My computer lacks a usb-card or somethingrather.)

Before I do that, you can go here and see the article Turun Sanomat wrote about our group and show. In the picture you'll see Ilkka and Anu showing their skills. (Omg, the jumps that kid is able to do! Gosh, they'd have to haul me up with a helicopter to get me that high...)

After the show was over, all the excessive make-up was washed away (the glitter, false eyelashes, little crystal stickers and so on), we were ready for a good meal in Harald, a local viking themed restaurant. Food was delicious, although a bit expensive, as usual. If you're ever in Turku thinking about where to eat, the place is well worth considering. (This as a piece of touristy information for my foreign friends who've never visited me in Turku...)

My night, however, wasn't over until I had called an ambulance for the first time in my life. Satu and Heli had hopped on a bus to go home and I decided I'd walk, since I really didn't have that long a way home at all. On my way I noticed a middle aged drunkard curled up in a corner, moaning about pain in his chest. I honestly don't know if the situation was real or if the guy was just unbelievably wasted, but somehow I think I was right to call the ambulance, anyway. At least the paramedics were able to check if the heart problems were real. I'd hate to think I was a person who would just pass by, when someone seemed to be in need of help. I do admit I kept my distance to the guy, since I was alone, after all, but I did stay with him till the ambulance came. I hope I was able to be of help to the poor sod. He was in such awful state that it was probably for the best for someone to come and see him anyway. If the paramedics didn't take him to the hospital, I'm sure he was taken somewhere to sober up a bit.

After that, I thought I had had enough of excitement for one day. Walked home, went to bed and slept like a log and when I woke up, I couldn't even remember what day it was...

(About the topic of the post - if there's anything I hate, it's the feeling of false eyelashes falling off when they're not supposed to. Yesterday I had surprisingly good luck with the accursed things and they stayed where they were supposed to during the performance. It'd be less than attractive to have the lashes hanging on your cheek or something while you're on stage. Take my word for it.)

Let there be work!

Aieee! Whee! Squeee! *jumps up and down in excitement*

I got work! Tralalalalaa!

Not a summerjob, but a teacher's job for next year!!! Yay!! I'm SOOOO excited! (Do you think I've used enough exclamation points to prove that yet?)

I'm going to be teaching Finnish (and hopefully history, too) in Nousiainen. Finnish in the senior high and history in the junior high. This is just perfect for me and my plans. I'm only going to have four (or max. 5) courses of Finnish and if I can get those history courses, I think I could take about 2 or 3 of them for the whole year. All in all it means that I'll have somewhere around 5-15 hours of teaching per week during the first semester. It's just so perfect I could cry. Or laugh out loud like a maniac. I can't quite make up my mind.

It's enough work to pay the rent and the bills (and hopefully put something aside for a new car or a trip to Malta or London or something) and yet there isn't too much of work for me to effectively study / finish up my thesis at the same time.

I can't believe I'm going to be a real teacher and not just a substitute anymore! It's going to be so much fun! YAY! (Now I only need a summerjob to keep me fed till mid-August...)

I'm so glad, now that I got these news, that I've decided to quit the dance teaching stuff for a while. It'll give me more of the ever so precious "free" time during the week, whether it'll be for marking exams and essays or planning lessons. Great timing.

My dance students were very nice to me this week, as the last dance classes were on Wednesday and Thursday. I got a beautiful plant&flower arrangement from the ladies in Parainen and a gift certificate to a local dance equipment shop from the ladies in Lieto. It was very thoughtful of them - they probably had noticed how my dance slippers had holes in them and how I wore the same tops every week... So today I went and bought new slippers and a very relaxed top for rehearsals. Very good.

Oh, how I wish this good mood will last till tomorrow and the recital/show/performance/whatever goes nicely. At least I'm pretty happy with my dress now, as I finished up with the beads and sequins last night. Tonight I can go to bed early, which'll be refreshing. Quite literally.

Old photos again

Remember how I told you about a sixties party I went to some time ago, before Christmas? Well, here's finally a picture of the sixties version of me. And Tytti. Aren't we chic? ;) My dress is pure vintage, it was made by my grandma for my mom. What I still can't believe is that it fit me! Mom had a good taste in colors already back then, this is the colorscheme I would've picked, too.

It's all about the sixties here.

I'm hoping I'll be able to post a bit more recent pictures next week, since I'm borrowing mom's digicamera on Saturday. I'll be able to take some shots of the dance recital and so on. Hopefully. :)

Ok, now it's back to the studies. I've been loitering by the computer way too long already.

Stress management

Phew. When this week is over, I'm going to be so happy to have survived again.

Everything always piles up. Work, studies, sequins, stuff on my desk... It's really annoying. This week is once again one of those incredibly hectic ones, even though I sit at home most of the time. To reduce the stress and strain a bit at least I already had to cancel the politics exam I was planning on taking on Friday. I just cannot effectively study 1200 pages of politics, concentrate on the materials for the history prep course and embroider my dress for Saturday's recital at the same time. I haven't got the hours in my day. And I'm already staying up till 1 a.m. with the sequins and itty-bitty beads...

Which actually lead to something strange today. I never make coffee for just myself when I'm at home. I like coffee, but I'm trying not to get hopelessly addicted to it by drinking it at home, too. Addiction-schmaddiction, says I today. I just had to have a lot of coffee to keep me studying the history of plague and other interesting diseases, since I've been sewing those darned beads onto that dress for two nights now. (On a happier and related note, though, I must say I'm so incredibly proud of myself for actually being able to put that dress together from scrap all by myself! And the thing fits me, too. That's just unreal.)

Plague and other diseases, you wonder, huh? One of the books that are required reading for the entrance exam of the history department this year, is called Plagues and Peoples by William H. McNeill. It seems (and is) fascinating, but isn't able to keep me awake (without caffeine helping) after two late nights in a row. Thank god for coffee.

I'm not exactly sure how the grand show on Saturday is going to go. I'm so afraid there isn't going to be that many people in the audience at all (even mom and dad canceled, since they were invited to visit dad's younger brother & his family in Tuusula) and that the whole thing is going to be a flop. I'll look ridiculous trying to snitch "the fire" from the dragon (yes, to see me skulking in the shadows / go bump in the dark, come and see it for yourself on Saturday) and boring when dancing my solo. I'm supposed to be Fikriya, the Wise Lady (the previous being some kind of Arabic translation of the latter), but I feel more like the Fool. Don't know what that'd be in Arabic. Maybe I'll feel better about all of this on Saturday morning, when the performance is getting closer. Then again, maybe not. I'm feeling decidedly pessimistic now.

This week will also see one of my nearly permanent causes of stress disappear. Whee! It's time for my last dance classes in Lieto and Parainen. It'll be a relief, but also sort of sad. The ladies in all my groups are very nice and it's not their fault that I don't have the energy to teach them anymore. Satu will take good care of the ladies in Lieto, but I still have to try and find a replacement for the group in Parainen.

Hrmpf. The beads are calling me again.

Domestic chores, a beginning of an end and some serious depths

Go me. Since I got so energized by Satu's moving, I've been a good little girl and done some spring cleaning at home, too. Namely washed the windows in my bedroom and kitchen. Now there are only the windows in my study and the livingroom left. It's really remarkable how the view from a window becomes clearer when you wash off about a year's worth of dust... Suddenly the sky's a brighter blue and the view is somehow sharper in general. :)

In a few weeks time, I'm pretty sure, a very important era in my life is going to be ending. I'm very seriously thinking about selling my car. I'll be done with the dance classes in two weeks' time and after that I thought I might put the Old Faithful for sale.

As ridicilous as it sounds, it's going to be tough to part from it. I get so attached to things. Besides, this is my other grandpa's old car and I've always thought he follows me where ever I drive his (my) Skoda. Nobody really thought that the car would still be running (well, at least running every once and a while...) ten years after grandpa's death. So now I'm trying to contact some Skoda enthusiast, who would buy it and take good care of it. I'm such a sentimentalist. Who would've thought I'd have any second thoughts about selling the car after complaining so much about it lately? Well, I've never said I was logical in every way... :)

It's going to be funny to be without a car. I've gotten so used to it, even though I don't need it daily. It's a four-wheel-set of freedom. Not having to worry about bus schedules (or other people's schedules for that matter) is wonderful. But I suppose I'll cope. And since dad keeps battering me about graduating (his reason being that we can go car shopping when I get a job), I guess my carless times won't last forever. And in case my graduation is delayed (I can't think of a reason why...krhm), he promised I could maybe borrow his VW Beetle sometimes. The one we bought him as a birthday present for his 50th birthday. It's bright yellow and it's going to be cute as a button, when he fixes it up. It already is very nice, but he's planning on all kinds of original chrome parts and so on. It's his summer project.We'll see.

On to other, more important, things. This coming week (and next week, too) is going to be very interesting. We're going to see living history. I'm referring to the situation in the Vatican, of course. Since I was only a year old baby when pope John Paul II was elected, I've never known any other pope and haven't had the possibility to follow the procedure of electing a new pope. I think I'd like to be able to be in the Vatican when the white smoke arises to announce that a new supreme pontiff has been chosen.

Not being a religious person (and certainly not a Catholic), I do have to admit my interest in all of this is purely scientific. The papal office has, no doubt, one of the world's most fascinating histories behind it. Because of the central role of church in history, the papacy is no stranger to controversy, power politics or even scandals and mysteries. My personal favourite is, naturally, the story of the pope named Johanna. :)

Of John Paul II a lot can be said, for sure. First and foremost I'm happy he passed away and doesn't have to suffer anymore. In the past year or so it's been heartbreakingly sad to watch him in his duties, an old sick man, trembling. I felt such pity for him. The tradition of a lifelong papacy without a retirement (although technically he could've resigned, but he chose not to) is certainly a remnant of times when people didn't live as long as they do nowadays. Therefore I'm glad I can say this now, to a man that lived a long life. Requiescat in pace, Karol Wojtyla.

There is talk of naming him pope John Paul the Great. Or at least some specialist speculated on it on Saturday evening, as I watched BBC World right after the official announcement of the death of the pope had been given. Sure, he was a very strong opposer of war and did, there's no doubt of that, a lot of good during his papacy.

But not all of it was good, from my point of view as a Western liberal non-Catholic woman. The misery and suffering he, whether directly or indirectly, caused for millions of women for instance, shouldn't be forgotten. His conservative views on birth control and such were just unbelievable in a modern world. Preventing the spreading of AIDS without using condoms? Not going to happen. Telling women in war-torn countries in the Balkan that they shouldn't perform abortions even if the pregnancies had begun with violent raping? Unnecessary suffering for the women.

I know the pope was very strictly "pro life", which is an honorable principle to follow, but honestly, who in this world believes that it would be possible to solve the global problems of AIDS and on the other hand overpopulation just by telling people not to have pre-marital sex and to be faithful once married? I may be a cynic of the worst kind, but I just don't see that happening. Ever. People are too hedonistic/selfish/idiotic to suddenly change. Some people will, no doubt, follow the advice of the late pope, but I'm pretty sure that the majority of people on this Earth won't.

Once again this comes to the question of faith. Faith I simply don't have in that sense. I believe that humanity is facing problems which cannot be solved by religion - any religion. I'm not saying religions are bad per se, because they aren't, but in some ways I think people should rise above religions in some matters. I mean, it's important to save the planet for the humanity, not for Christians or Moslems or Jews or Hindus. And saving the planet is going to mean solving some serious global problems that require more than just sermons of morality.

Once again I've wandered to the deep end of the pool. I'm sure religion and other questions of this magnitude would deserve several hours of discussion (preferably over a glass of good wine) and not just a few scattered and random blogged thoughts. But since I'm sitting alone at home, this'll have to do. This is certainly a downside to blogging. There's always something that is left unsaid (or is misunderstood) and no matter how much I write, it'll never compensate for a real discussion with a real person, face to face. Never enough of those. But certainly enough blogging for one day. :)

Moving around

What a nice day it was. I'm feeling pretty good about life at the moment. And why? Because I was able to help a friend today.

Satu got the keys to her new apartment today, so it was time to scrub the place from top to bottom and then haul all her stuff from her old place to the new one. In one word, move. I know I must be really weirdly put together, but I actually enjoy it when people move and I can help. I only wish I had the same energy when cleaning up my own apartment!

I've lived in the same apartment now for six years already (my gosh, has it really been that long??) and I'm not about to move anywhere. At the moment my finances would crash, if I were to do that (it helps to have one's grandparents as the owners of the apartment, they don't mind if the rent is a bit late sometimes, you see...). So the closest thing to a nice new beginning I can get, is to see someone else move. :) Ok, so I really didn't enjoy scrubbing the toilet, but at least I helped Satu get her place germ free... The whole place ended up smelling like those older swimming pools, that still have chlorine in the water.

There's one thing I personally like about moving. It's the reorganizing part of the deal. In some odd way I was a bit envious of Satu, who was left in the middle of a huge mountain of furniture, boxes, bags, flotsam and jetsam - just because she's going to have such a good time (she might disagree on this one, though) reshaping her world again. This goes here, that has to be the place for this and so on. I enjoy that a lot.

It's the same as with reorganizing a bookshelf. I suppose it has to do with the sense of having one's life in order, when everything is in their right places. Which, come to think of it, might be one of the reasons I've felt a bit chaotic and un-organized lately... Heh. Which then might explain the itch I had to begin moving things around in my apartment too, when I came home from Satu's place. Suddenly my place seemed messy, boring and well, "been there, seen that". And the downside to this urge is that there isn't that much I can move around.

My livingroom, for instance. I now have almost a full wall of bookshelving (2,2 metres, to be exact, wahoo), which is built around my tv cabinet. Since there is only one cable-tv outlet in the room, my tv has to be in that one corner. Or it "has" to, because it's most convenient that way. The tv then dictates the placement of the couch, which then dictates where I can put my dining table. I suppose I could switch them around, but then there would, once again, be a problem with the outlets. (Way back in the late 60's or whatever, when this building was built, people had fewer electric devices...)

I suppose these are excuses, as would be the reason for not moving around the stuff in my study and my bedroom- it would be damned hard to move around heavy furniture (like my antique-ish dressing table with a big mirror) alone. One more thing I need a man for. ;)

No, just kidding. I don't think that'd be my first reason for dating someone. Picture this situation: "Oh, by the way, after the movie, can you come up to my place? Huh? Nothing of that sort, how dare you! I merely want you to carry around some heavy pieces of furniture with me!" I'm sure I'd be every guys dreamdate after that... :)

Anyhow, I hope Satu will enjoy her new flat. It's a bit smaller than her previous one, but I'm sure she'll make it feel like home. She's good at that stuff. Besides, she has her own sauna now, which makes her just about delirious with glee. And she lives closer to me again, which is also nice. I might be able to benefit from that sauna sometimes, too. :)

A quick declaration of amazement and suddenly found happiness will be the proper way for me to finish today's post. My car worked yesterday! In fact it worked amazingly well, as I was able to get it going on the FIRST try! That never happens. Or very nearly ever. I think Wednesday's problems were about the gas pump and the inadequate flow of gas to the engine when the tank is less than half full... Argh. But after having been very grumpy about the whole car business all day long, just waiting for the whole ordeal of biking or whatever to Uittamo again, you can imagine my sheer delight when the car actually started right away. Life is good sometimes. :)

And finally, none of this was an April fool's joke. It's all real here at the Pool. :)

Mere three weeks

It was all I needed. Three more weeks. But no, surely it would've been asking for too much. Thanks a bunch, whatever deities decide over cars and how they work.

Mine didn't today and I'm majorly pissed off about it. The darling old Skoda of mine should've worked for three more weeks and then I would've been done with the dance lessons in Parainen and Lieto. I'm going to have to try again tomorrow, but if it doesn't cooperate, I'm forced to begin my biking season to get to Uittamo to fetch the Peugeot from grandpa. Today was a mix of getting my brother to drop me off at grandma's & grandpa's, getting their car & driving it back and forth to Parainen (I ended up being late from class because all of this) and eventually walking home later in the evening. I don't mind walking, but all in all I would've preferred a car that works...

It just felt like it wasn't my day today. Sometimes I do wonder why on some days I feel so out of tune with the world, even though the day would've been quite ok for the most part. Like today was. I got to go shopping for the materials for the Eximia course (well, two thirds anyway, now I have to wait another two weeks for the bookstore to get the last book for me, aagh), bought the last Harry Potter novel (finally!) for myself (got a good discount) and even found a decent movie soundtrack cd for only 2 euros. (A bargain, that one!)

Why is it that some days just don't match your life? Come to think of it, it could actually be a sign of the Matrix actually existing... The days that don't feel like they are "yours" would actually be a mistake in the programming and were meant for someone else. Wouldn't that be annoying?

Nah, the theory isn't very good. I suppose I like the old saying of getting up on the wrong foot better. Except that I get out of bed on the same foot every morning, since my bed is in the corner and it's just natural to roll out the same way every day. What made this morning different from any other? I still have a problem.

I hope some of my problems will be solved tomorrow. I so hope I'll finally get the word that the first Spin of the year is ready for print, that I actually get some serious studying done (for a political science exam and the Eximia course) and that I can drive my own car to Lieto in the evening. I don't think it'd be too arrogant of me to wish for all of this. Right? Right.

First week of spring

What a wonderful week it has been. On Wednesday I actually smelled the spring in the air for the first time. I love the smell of spring. Earthy, sunny, full of life. The sun has been shining almost all week and the temperatures have been above zero (Celsius, that is) almost every day, quickly melting away the snow. It's just wonderful to watch and listen how spring is really coming.

There are birds singing, too. Suddenly there are so many voices out there, after a silent winter. Last evening I actually heard a bird that is quite typically a summer night singer. (I'm not very good at recognising birds, but I know this one - except for its name in English, heh.) It made me feel really happy. I was almost as thrilled when I heard a seagull earlier this week. As I live in a city by the sea, the returning seagulls are a sure sign (and sound) of summer coming.

I'm sure the winter has a few more tricks up its sleeve, but I don't mind. I know it's time for spring to win the competition. I love the springtime. It's always such a nice surprise after a long and dark winter. I don't think I'll ever get tired of the wonder of the days growing longer. It happens every year and every year it has to be marveled at: "Isn't it wonderfully light out there although it's already 6 p.m.?" Ahh, I'm a spring person.

There are, however, a few cons to balance all the pros of spring. The gravel on the streets, for example. It's no longer needed, because there isn't any ice, but not all the maintenance companies are very swift in sweeping it away. The maintenance company of our apartment buildings being one of them. Our neighboring houses have already cleaned up their parts of the pavement and parking lots, but it's still rittlerattle around my building. *sigh*

One other thing comes to mind when I sit here by the computer. My windows. Not the kind that I have in the computer, but the kind I can see through. Or I would, if I washed them... The bright spring sun just highlights all the dust and dirt that the windows have on them. I think I'll have to wait till the weather warms up yet a bit, before I start washing them, though. Until then I'm going to have to watch everything through a sheet of dust.

A definite pro of the spring is that I can't wait to get my bike out. Walking is fine, but I greatly prefer biking, if it's possible. During the winter it isn't, because I'm such a wuss. I simply don't dare to bike when the roads are icy, because I'm afraid of falling down. So spring means that eventually all the roads will be safe (or at least not icy anymore) and I'll be able to get to places quicker. "But you have a car", some might say. Sure, the old faithful has survived yet another winter (knock on wood), but I don't usually drive it to places I can go to by bike. Cheaper, more ecological and well, cheaper. :) But now that I mentioned the car, I have to keep in mind to wash it this weekend when I go to Nousiainen. The dirt on that poor vehicle, huh.

Well. It's just such a nice weather outside (+8 degrees and the brightest blue sky, whee!) that I won't waste a minute longer sitting inside. I'm going out for a long walk. I'll listen to the birds, smell the air, probably soak my shoes in the melting snow, but in any case I'll draw in every single ray of light. Maybe I'll even try to walk my face toward the sun all the time. I think I must've been a plant in a previous life... :)

Happy Easter, everyone.

An experiment with pictures

A presentable trio, this one. Tytti, yours truly and Kirsi all in festive mood last fall. I'm posting this picture just because I'm learning how to use the picture posting program... :)

Problems with makeup

"Makeup of makeup artists", yeah right. Any makeup artist using this product is seriously endangering the customers face. This particular kind of makeup almost ruined a perfectly fun evening for me. It most certainly did ruin my Sunday, so in a while an international makeup manufacturer is going to get some very stern customer feedback.

Mom had given me this lipgloss and the "finishing touch" -stuff, because it hadn't suited her. Since I've never had any problems wearing any makeup, I was willing to try it. I put some on for Saturday evening when I left for the "Fab 11" -party I was invited to (which, btw, was a great party - thanks to everyone involved!). Soon I noticed a burning sensation in my lips and had to wash the gloss off. Unfortunately it didn't help much, and my lips were very irritated by the time I got home. Well, I thought, it can't get much worse than this.

I was wrong. So very wrong. First of all, I woke up at 5 a.m. with an even worse burning sensation. I had to get some ice from the freezer to cool my mouth with before I was able to sleep again. When I finally got up later that morning, a horrid looking "Courtney Love with bad lip implants" creature was staring at me from the mirror. What the...? I looked awful, my lips all swollen and very irritated, almost blistering.

So I spent my morning and the better part of the afternoon sitting in front of the tv holding ice to my mouth to reduce the swelling. When it was time to leave to Uusikaupunki for dance rehearsals, I was looking less awful, but still noticeably odd. As I am today. What the heck do they have in that finishing touch -stuff? My reaction feels like I would've been using some kind of acid as lipgloss... Geez.

I'm so happy I had the test lecture thing last week, I would've hated to look like this when trying to convince people I'd be the best possible choice for the job.

Which, by the way, I managed to do! I got the job! Hooray! I'm going to be the teacher of the history prep course in May! They called me this morning with the good news. I'm so happy about it I could almost forget the face problem, unless my lips weren't still burning. I have to contact my professor and ask him, if this job would qualify for a few study credits for my advanced studies. I'm sure it will. It should, anyway. And then I'm going to have to begin to read through the required books myself... Yay!

Whee! What a good start for the week, despite the makeup problem. :)

More things to do and less time to do it?

Oy, my schedules... As you've probably noticed from the lack of updates around here, I've been way too busy lately. How is it that everything always piles up? Especially everything I need to do. I so need a vacation. :)

Anyhow, despite the nagging feeling that I haven't been able to accomplish anything lately, I have actually been a busy little bee. I passed the exam I took last Friday (with flying colors, too!) and now there's one less exam to take before graduation. Yay! Only two more on the various topics of political sciences, one on the corporate economics (blergh, hate it) and then there are a few loose ends to tie up at the history department. Shouldn't be a problem, though. Especially, if I get the job at Eximia, I could probably get some study credits from that too.

About the job at Eximia, then. I went and gave the sample lecture on Tuesday and I think it went well enough. The lady who was there to "judge me", was very nice and after my lecture we talked for about 40 minutes extra. She told me about the details of the job, and I couldn't but wonder if that was a good sign or not. But since I have no idea of the level of competition I'm facing, I simply don't know if I'll get the job or not. They said they'd inform me next week. I hope I get it. It'd be great. It'd be very challenging to teach people who are seriously motivated to learn history.

I'm not saying that kind of students are totally non-existent in normal classrooms (well, where would the historians come from if not from regular classes?), but instead there are always some kids who couldn't care less and are just sitting in the classroom because they have to. I'm pretty sure there wouldn't be people like that on this course. At the price they're paying, I'd be surprised to see one of them nod off during class... Oh, but in that case the fault would be mine, oops. Well, I'll just have to prepare absolutely amazing lessons, if I get the job. ;)

On to a totally unrelated matter. I have a new(er) computer now! Yippee! And a new big(er) and non-broken screen, too! Whee! And can you believe it, I was able to install quite a lot of programs and such all by myself. Aren't I the cleverest? :) I'm sure I haven't done anything remarkable here, but since I am an honest simpleton when it comes to computers, I have to boast a bit. There are only a few problems left to solve. Like my other email account. I can't access it yet, I suppose it has to do with the different servers for incoming and outgoing emails. Or some other detail in the account settings I've failed to locate so far. Will have to work on it.

As is the case with the old email address book of mine. It was copied from my old computer to the new one, but I can't for the life of me import it into the new program. Darn. Oh, and what really bums me out is that I completely forgot to mention to Mikko, who put this new machine together, that I hadn't had time to make a copy of my old bookmarks folder... So now I'm in the middle of a very slow process of trying to find all the important webpages again. That, to be honest, sucks so bad.

Luckily there are some good distractions available, so I don't have to keep fretting about problems like that all the time. I completely forget them when I watch the episodes of the final season of Angel. I think I have four more episodes left and then there are no more, ever. *snif* Why do all the really good series come to an end so soon? Only five seasons? I would've liked to watch at least five more. Especially with Spike on the show, too. Yummy.

I can't hype about everything that happens yet, because the season is being shown on tv too, and I don't want to spoil it for those, who are watching it an episode per week... But I do have to say I one of my favorite moments was when a character called Ratio Hornblower was introduced! ;)

Hmm. I'm sure there was (once again) a million other things I was going to babble about, but I'm letting you off the hook now. Or soon, at least. :) I still have all the stuff I couldn't sell last Saturday (our second flea market trip with Satu, not as much income as the previous time & place) lying around the apartment. I need to do something about it. Preferably sooner than later.

Or maybe I should write the "learning diary" for yesterday's Shakespeare -lecture. I'm really looking forward to the rest of this course that began yesterday. It's about hearing Shakespeare, using Hamlet as an example. The lecturer (Bruce Johnson) comes from Australia, and it was so much fun listening to him. Not to mention interesting. Yesterday we discussed the transition from the culture of listening to a culture of seeing, from the spiritual perspective of the medieval world to the more dynamic and physical views of the reneissance. It was all very interesting. Compared to the Finnish dialects course, which is frustrating me more and more every week. Gaah. I won't get into that now, though. In fact, I'm going to not get into anything anymore. This'll be enough for now. :)

That was fast

My goodness. I don't think I've ever written a job application and received an invitation to present myself quicker than today. I had decided I'd apply for a history prep course teacher's position, because the job description fit me better than well.

The company asked for an informal application via email, which I finally sent them today, about 10 a.m.. The deadline, according to the job ad, is on the 13th (which is Sunday), so I didn't expect to hear anything from them until on Monday, at the earliest.

You can imagine my surprise when I answered my phone this afternoon (around 5 p.m.) and it was a cheery sounding woman calling about my application. She asked me a few questions (like the topic of my thesis and so on) and told me I was invited to give a sample lecture next Tuesday. Whoa! That, my friends, was some quick action! Seven hours from sending the application to a sort of a job interview and an invitation to give a sample lesson. Seven hours! Yay!

So, come next Tuesday, I'll be lecturing for about half an hour about any aspect of 19th century history (the catch being that there's only one person listening). Wow. That should be a piece of cake. I was given advice that the lecture should show my expertise on the matter (no prob, in a week I can become an expert on anything, heh), give proof of my presentation skills (should be no problem either) and on top of it all it should be motivating. Aren't I always? :) I already chose a topic, which I can easily connect with the actual university entrance exam (I had to study the same subject for my exam way back when...) and which will sound interesting. I hope. :)

All in all, I'm feeling pretty good about this - I hope there are no better qualified candidates around... The lady on the phone said that they only invite a few of the best candidates to give a sample lecture, so I'm already one step ahead. Whee! The job's not going to involve more than 30 hours of teaching though, so we're not talking about fortunes here, but hey, I'm not complaining. I'll take anything I get and if the job fits my specific field of education, I'm going to be even more glad about it. So, keep your fingers crossed for me on Tuesday!

The truth in dreams

I've got some serious problems, it seems. With my bed and my pillow. I desperately need to get a new mattress, because my back hurts in the morning. (Shush there, Sarin and Tytti! I know what you're thinking. I'm getting old, too...) I've never had problems like that before, probably partly due to all the dancing which keeps my back in some sort of shape. I hope.

However, I don't consider my back the biggest problem. Why? Because I haven't had any bad dreams about broken backs yet. But I had this really weird and disturbing dream about my neck the other night...

I had slept in a somehow crooked position a few nights ago and thanks to that and my poor excuse for a pillow, I had a really nasty crick in my neck on Sunday. Ouch. So what does my subconscious tell me the next night? Get a new pillow! This was how it was told to me in my dream.

In this dream I was at a party or something with a bunch of friends and when I left the livingroom to check my makeup or something in front of a mirror, I noticed this huge lump in my neck. And I mean huge. Like a loaf of bread large (and actually shaped like a loaf of bread too, like sticking out of the back of my neck - blergh). In my neck! Quite naturally I freaked out and yelled to all my friends "Why didn't you say anything about this to me??", which of course makes them freak out and call an ambulance. So the ambulance arrives and in come the nice paramedics. Two young guys who call me Mrs (oh, how I hate them for it!) and make me lie down on the wossitsnamebedthingie, which I absolutely hate (even more than the Mrs part). I tell them over and over again that I can walk, because the problem is in my neck, not my feet. They just keep patronizing over me like good little paramedics and I'm freaking out more and more by the minute. I think the dream ended when the doctor tells me there's nothing to be worried about and to be sure, the lump begins to grow smaller. Jeez...

Serious note to self: buy new pillow. Soon! Or maybe buy fewer bread loafs? I can't be sure, really...

However, after I get the new pillow (or no more bread loafs), I'd better try to watch less of Pimp My Ride... And yes, this truth was also revealed to me in dreams. I think I ought to worry, when I start to dream about being personal friends with Xzibit and having him visit some summer cottage somewhere (which I obviously don't have), where I'm hosting a huge party for loads and loads of people...

Weird, but fun. Well, the lump wasn't fun when I was dreaming about it, but I did wake up feeling quite amused despite the crick in my neck - which had also taken a turn for the better.

Folks, listen to your dreams. They'll teach you something one of these days. Or not. :)

Fleamarket frenzy

Voluntarily waking up at 5 a.m. on a Sunday morning? I must've been seriously out of my mind when agreeing to that! Up at five, setting up a fleamarket table about an hour later...

Yes, Satu and I went to sell some of our old stuff (clothes, books, cheap-o jewellery etc.) at a local fleamarket yesterday. Satu is about to move to a smaller apartment, so she wants to get rid of all the useless trinkets and I just want to clean up my closets. And make a few euros while at it.

In preparation for Sunday I had been working as a de facto laundromat for a week. First I had rummaged through all my closets and piled loads and loads of old clothes in the middle of the livingroom floor. It's nicer to sell clean clothes, I thought, and so on Tuesday my task was to wash all of them. I honestly think I washed about 16 loads of laundry that day. From 8 a.m. till 5 p.m. And it wasn't much before midnight when I went to get the last dry clothes from the drying room. I never thought laundry could make me so dull-brained. I had to pop by the TSFS board meeting in the evening and I felt really grumpy and agitated all the time. Umph.

If only the washing of the laundry was all that was needed. But no. I couldn't very well go and sell clothes that are all crumpled. So I took upon me the task of ironing the stuff. Ohmigod. I'm such a slow person when it comes to ironing that it took me several hours to get everything ironed. I stayed up a few nights (well past midnight) ironing away... In my defence it has to be said that I watched tv at the same time, so didn't really notice the time. All I noticed was my aching back... (It's really not that nice to notice, to be honest.)

So did it pay off, all that work? Sort of, but not really, if you think of how much clothes I sold, or didn't sell, to be more exact. Most of my clothes stayed with me (it seems that the only pieces of clothing the people wanted to buy yesterday were black slacks, good thing that I had several pairs to sell), but luckily I got rid of my old tv (way cheaper than what I actually wanted to sell it for) and an old, big & ugly lamp.

The fleamarket seemed also to be the right place to sell old vhs-tapes. I had several movies I wanted to sell (I want to replace them with the dvd-versions), but lately it has become quite obvious that old vhs-movies aren't that easy to sell anymore. This was proven to be a misconception among the fleamarket people. The only movie I had to take back home when we finished the day, was a movie called 28 Days. But I think that's just my destiny. When I bought the movie, I bought it only because it had Viggo Mortensen in it and now it became quite clear he wants to stay with me. :) Which won't prevent me from trying to sell him again next time. So sorry, dearie.

Yes, the next time. Although it was the first time of going to the fleamarket to sell something for the both of us, we already planned on going again this week. We'll try a different place and this time it'll be on Saturday. Last night I immediately had to rummage my closets again, this time a bit more carefully, because it's darned addictive, the whole process. I won't be doing as much laundry this time (thank any deity for that), because all of the clothes I didn't sell yesterday are still going to be fine. Instead I'm going to try to rummage through my old kiddie stuff (some of my toys and such) in Nousiainen, maybe there'd be something I could sell.

All of this for a few lousy euros? Well, yes. I managed to sell stuff for about 100 euros yesterday. It's a fortune to me at the moment, so I'm more than happy to go through a bit of trouble for it. Although I don't expect to do as well next time, since I no longer have a tv to sell. (Or perhaps dad would have some gadgets I could try to turn into money...)

Ok, I think I'll wrap up for now. I have an exam on Friday (wohoo, I haven't had one of those in a while) and this week I'm going to have to seriously study for it. Less work on the thesis, more studying of the basics of the political systems and international politics. Wahey. My week's going to be all NGO's and such. Wish me luck. :)

And the Oscar goes to...

Ah, it was that time of year again. Time for the Academy Awards galore. Glamour, glamour, glamour. And a whole lot of bling bling to top it all.

I learned my lesson last year, when I only had a 3-hour tape for the gala. I actually missed the end, mainly the final thank you's of the RotK-crew. Gaah. It's not like that was the reason why I taped the whole show, oh no... Well, this year I was prepared with a 4-hour tape and it was probably the first time in years they were done with the giving away of little golden men ahead of schedule! Typical.

So I spent most of today in front of the tv, since I also visited Tytti and watched a few films with her in the afternoon. I just had to watch the whole show as soon as possible. (In other words, no thesis writing today - I'll make up for it tomorrow, though!) I'm funny that way, but not nearly funny enough to stay up from midnight till 7 a.m. to watch the live feed. Oh no, I need my sleep, hence the help of the VCR.

This year's awards were just a wee bit odd to watch since I haven't seen any of the most important nominated movies yet. Every time I think about renting Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I'm too late and there's no copy left in my neighboring movie rental place. Closer and Sideways only just opened in Finland, so I haven't had time to check those out yet. The Aviator has been showing for quite some time already, but I haven't found the time to go and see that, either. I don't know if I'm that interested in the Million Dollar Baby anyway (although I'm sure it's a marvellous movie, judging by its success last night) and Ray, well, I'd like to see that one day. The music'll surely be outstanding and Jamie Foxx seems to have gotten his Oscar for a truly exceptional performance. Finding Neverland I've got to see, but it will remain to be seen when the time for that will be. What else? Oh, I did see Shrek 2 and Kinsey, as I've mentioned before. And few others, that were nominated in some of the "smaller" categories.

As I don't have much to say about the movies (I'll be sure to return to those as soon as I see them) this time around, I'll just have to say a few other things I noted.

First of all. Could someone please tell me what was it all about with Beyoncé? Her French was horrific (please, take some tutorials or stick to English, ok?) and frankly, I would've loved to listen to someone else sing at least two of the tree songs she performed. Like the artists that performed them originally? How's that for a radical thought?

Secondly, I think there were some jaw-droppingly-gorgeous ladies (and at least one man, fortunately not wearing a gown) in equally stunning gowns & jewellery. They didn't show any major fashion fumbles (I've got to check some other place, like a mag or a website for those), but in my list there were a few sparkling diamonds based on what I saw. Literally and metaphorically speaking. Halle Berry. Reneé Zellweger. Natalie Portman. Above mentioned Beyoncé's jewellery during the song from The Phantom of the Opera. Scarlett Johansen's jewellery in her hairdo. Orlando Bloom.

Natalie Portman looked like a Greek nymph. She was simply elegant. Halle Berry's dress was very sleek and very sensual, IMO. And for Ms Jones - what an entrance! Reneé Z. glided through the stage in her red gown to present an award like she was royalty. The kilos she's lost after Bridget Jones 2! I only wish I could do the same. (I suppose I'll have to start saving up for a personal trainer too, among other things.)

Sigh. You know which job I'd really like to have? The job of one of the ladies who bring the statuettes to the stage and then escort the winners backstage. They get to wear nice dresses and hang with the stars on stage. Wouldn't that be fun? I'm sure it would. But how do I apply? I'm sure I'd be tall enough for the part, but I'm not so sure about the other requirements, though. There are bound to be other requirements. Oh well. A girl can dream, right?

Actually, the girl really needs to dream, literally. I'm about ready to start sleepwalking now. Or sleepblogging, to be more exact. In order to prevent this, I... *yawn* See my point? Better go. Ta ta.

Let's talk about sex

I saw a very thought provoking movie tonight. It was the movie Kinsey, starring Liam Neeson and Laura Linney. As you may (or may not) know, the movie is a biographical drama about the life of Alfred C. Kinsey, who did extensive and ground breaking research on human sexuality by interviewing thousands of people about their sexual experiences. And he did this during the 1940's and 1950's, a time when sexuality was a taboo in so many ways.

I couldn't help but think how brave this man had to be to face the prejudices of the time. Sure, he was a scientist and as scientists are known to break conventional ways of thinking, it shouldn't come as a surprise that he carried out what he'd planned to do. But still, in the 40's? It's one thing to think outside of, say, the box of physics or chemistry, but human sexuality? A whole different playground (no pun intended) back then. There were, according to the movie, for instance, people who thought oral sex would somehow result in problems when trying to have children (this is a belief I had never heard of) and of course those who thought masturbation is the way to get cancer and/or whatnot. The conservative (religious) moral values were probably making people feel really guilty for feelings of sexual pleasure. If that isn't a challenge for a research like Kinsey's, then I don't know what is.

What a different world it was. Or was it? It isn't that hard to guess who's been outraged by the portrait of a sex researcher. Yup, you got it. Conservative Christians. American conservative Christians. You surprised yet? In an article published in the Washington Post it's reported that the conservative groups are basically blaming Kinsey for everything from high divorce rates to AIDS and child abuse. Hello? Anyone with a brain out there?

I guess there are still quite a lot of people who think that sex is something dirty, sinful and unnatural. Once again I've found a group of people that I just can't understand. Of course this has quite a lot to do with the conservative religious views that are the ones I really don't get. I do think sex is a private matter (look who's talking and in what forum, ahem...) and that's fine. I just think it's one of the most natural things in life and I feel really sorry for those who feel that it's something they have to be ashamed for, or afraid of, for example. As long as it's a question of the likes and dislikes of consenting adults, I see no reason to make a big deal out of it. It's life. Has always been and will (hopefully) always be, from the beginning of time. No religion can deny that.

I could probably go on and on about the subject and many others that were dealt with in the movie, but I think that might get me so worked up that I'd stay up half the night and besides, who'd want to read that anyway... Instead I'll just say that I think the movie was well worth seeing. The acting was good, Laura Linney was even nominated for an Oscar in the category of Best Supporting Actress for her role as Mrs. Kinsey, and I've always liked Liam Neeson. What also was good about the film, was that the director didn't dwell too much on the sex itself, which in my opinion is the obvious danger in stories like this, but built the story mostly in more subtle ways. He was really telling a story of a scientist, not of sex. And most important of all, the movie made me think. I always appreciate that.

I'd better go now, tomorrow's going to be a long day. We're going to Tampere (Tomi, Maarit, Leila and I) to a meeting of the Finnish sf-societies. It's going to be fun to see some of the familiar fandom faces again. Maybe even some new faces that we could encourage to join TSFS and read Spin. It'll btw be the first time the wider Finnish fandom meets me as the editor of Spin. Yikes. Not that I'm any different from a few months ago, but they may have some tough questions for me. Like questions about my visions of the future of Spin. I plan to get four Spins out this year? Would that be good enough an answer? Let's hope so. :)

Ten Things I've Done Others Might Not Have

As my day was pretty boring (did some editorial work, went to the Finnish dialects lecture and read some Erasmus of Rotterdam's The Praise of Folly and other texts for my thesis), I'll bore you out, too, with yet another meme. I got the idea from vierran45 who had taken the idea from someone else - well, you know how these things work.

I think it'd be cool to find out what other people may have done that I haven't and that's why I'll list here the ten things in my life I think not everyone has done. Most of them are such that I'm sure there are a lot of people who've done the same, but my life hasn't exactly been a treasure chest of completely unique experiences and adventures...

1. I've had lunch with Neil Gaiman.
Actually, it was Neil who ate and I was interviewing him at the same time (he'd agreed to this, so it's not like I interrupted his meal or anything). He was such a nice person to talk to and it was very gracious of him to answer my questions during his lunchbreak. I'm such a huge fan of his that this'll probably be an experience I'll remember forever. And I have the tapes of the interview as proof that this really happened!

2. I've had a Sandman original drawn for me by Bryan Talbot.
Well, this sort of relates to the previous one, doesn't it? Bryan Talbot was visiting in Turku in 2000 and I was there to interview him. And a long story made short, I asked him if he could draw me a picture of Sandman and he did. It's signed "for Johanna" and it hangs on my bedroom wall. My precious...

3. I've slept in the lobby of the local movie theatre.
This I can't claim is something others haven't done, since I had quite a few fellow sleepers there with me. We were waiting in line for the premier tickets of the Return of the King. We got there in the afternoon and stayed over night, since the tickets were sold in the morning. There were hundreds of people waiting and the lobby was a general area of group sleepiness during the night. What was funny about it though, was that at some point of the night (around 4 a.m. or so, if I remember right?) I and my friends ended up giving some advise to the manager of the theatre about the whole morning line up procedure... I just can't keep my hands off of anything I can organize..

4. I've been a high school football team mascot during a homecoming game.
I can't even remember how the thing actually came to be, but somehow (this was when I was an exchange student in the States) I ended up hopping about the football field in an eagle-suit... The head of that bird (it was called Jasper the Eagle, btw) was a huge thing and the body was a bright blue fake fur sort of material. So I was hot as heck inside and in addition actually got a minor claustrophobic attack while entertaining the crowd. The kids would come and bang on the head of the eagle, which felt totally uncomfortable inside - not to mention the fact that there was no way I could see where they were coming from. I didn't last till the half time show, I had to get out of the suit quickly after mingling with the audience. Phew. Ever since I've had a few doubts of ever wearing for example a motorcycle helmet... Go figure.

5. I've dined with a prince, a duke and a marquis in an old mansion.
Sounds really fancy, doesn't it? Maybe I ought not to explain anything about this and let you all believe I'm really popular among the royalty and live a life that's right out of a romance novel... :) Nah, this is the story. A few years back I was a conference assistant in a conference that dealt with the history of the knightly orders, such as the Order of Malta, the Templars, the Teutonic Knights and so on. Naturally there were quite a few knights attending and as it is, there still are some nobiliary requirements to some of these orders. For example for the Order of Malta. (Except that the lay members don't necessarily have to be noble (there are separate rules for this), and that's why the marquis of the above mentioned group once suggested that if I ever wanted to become a Dame of the Order, all I had to do was to become a Catholic and he'd speak on my behalf...Yeah.) However, the formal conference dinner took place in a very beautiful mansion and there were about 30 or so people there. It just happened that I was there too, with all the noble people I mentioned. Not as glamorous as I would like to think.

6. I've had a Finnish Olympic Team swimmer buy me drinks.
He just happens to be one of my brother's best friends and I've known him for more than 10 years now. When he graduated from high school (he actually didn't swim in the Olympic Team back then) I was partying along with him, a bunch of other top notch swimmers of the time (my brother included) and he bought me a few drinks during the evening. Had a darned good time, too.

7. I've had a full lecture hall cheer at what I was saying.
I was the chairperson of the Finncon X - Eurocon 2003 convention and I got to say the opening and closing words of the official con program. The closing ceremony was almost completely improvised on my part, but it went great and as I thanked everyone involved, the crowd went wild. It was quite a feeling to stand in front of hundreds of people and listen to them cheer and applaude. I could've burst out of pride at that moment. :)

8. As a kid I fed my toy Volvo toiletpaper and tucked the same toy car in for the night in a baby doll's bed.
Yup, I wasn't one of those little girls who played with dolls. I had plastic cars. And horses, which were fed oats I had picked up from a nearby field. At least that was a bit closer to the target than the toiletpaper.

9. I've whitewater rafted in the States (Snake River).
And so much fun it was! I'd love to do it again some day.

10. I've spent a Halloween in a funeral home, sleeping right next to the coffins.
One more curious thing that happened during my year in the States. There was a Halloween party for us exchange students and what would be a more appropriate place for such a party than a funeral home? We got to sleep in a room which was right next to the "show room" where they held the coffins. We were appropriately spooked by all of it, of course. But it was, by far, the best Halloween party I've ever attended. Which is sort of sad, really. :)

So there. Now it's your turn! :)

What to do when you have the munchies?

One thing you could do, is to invite about 20 people over for an evening of not counting calories. My friends Mari and Mikko did just that this past Saturday. They'd invited a bunch of people over to enjoy a raclette dinner, which eventually meant that there were 17 of us around three raclette grills. Yummy. But sort of greasy. My clothes smelled like I'd been working at a local hamburger place for a full day, ewgh. But a perfectly good way to cure munchies for a while.

A really short while, that is. I was all for chocolate and candy on Sunday evening after practice... I managed to fight off the urge to run to the neighboring movie rental place and buy 5 euros worth of candy. And I didn't buy any chocolate from the store today, either. Good for me. :)

Yesterday we went to Uusikaupunki with Satu to learn a choreography for the upcoming recital. The show's in April and we've both been really not-so-motivated about it for quite some while already. Luckily things began to look a bit better as Heli taught us a beautiful and simple "medieval-oriental-fantasy" choreography to a wonderful song called Radharc which is performed by a band named Dead Can Dance. (Gaah, I just realized the pun that one could read into the name of the band and us dancing to their music... We're most definitely not dead, though.) It's going to be the dance with which we, the three leading ladies, present ourselves to the Queen of the Fairies and to the audience, naturally.

I fell in love with the music as soon as heard the first beats. I can't wait to get the whole album, which I ordered because I knew Heli was going to use that music. I'm hoping the package'll arrive on Wednesday. I'll be listening to the cd on repeat and dancing every time I hear the music for the choreography. I can always count on wonderful medieval and Celtic style music to cheer me up. I'm glad Heli introduced the band to me, and it's good that the music is still available, although most of it has been recorded in the late 80's and early 90's.

So it goes, life. Ups and downs. But I probably shouldn't say I'm feeling pretty good at the moment, because as the recent events have proved, Mr Murphy sure likes to mess with my life. I'm sure I'll get a letter from the Board of Student Allowances (or whatever they might be called in English) tomorrow stating that I'm not eligible for any kinds of arrangements with the sum I'm supposed to pay, because, say, I'm too old or too dumb or not poor enough or something. That'd be just my luck.

But at least I'm not living within a pillar of Eternal Darkness like poor Jonathan Strange in Susanna Clarke's excellent novel Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell. I just finished reading it today. I loved it. It's the kind of almost minimalistic fantasy I like a lot. The events aren't happening in a blink of an eye, the characters get to grow along the story and the atmosphere is somehow very peculiarly muted. Right down to the color scheme of it all. It was murky, mysterious, fascinating, intriguing and completely enjoyable. I warmly recommend it to anyone, who likes legends, early 19th century settings and magic. But since not all of you have yet read the book (go read it, now!), I'll stop ranting about it so I won't accidentally slip out any spoilers.

A quick movie comment addition here at the end. The movie Swordfish is on tv tonight and I just began to watch it a few minutes ago. There was this character who was supposed to be a Finnish hacker Axel Torvalds. (Yes, they really did make the criminal character almost a namesake of Linus Torvalds, who is a Finn but not a crook.) They claimed he had a Finnish passport and even showed it on screen. With a friggin' eagle? Well excuse me for having a Finnish passport that hasn't even seen an eagle. The Finnish coat-of-arms has a lion on it, not an eagle. And then they claimed the character refused to speak nothing but Finnish while the Finnish consulate would provide a translator. The men were speaking German, for cryin' out loud! Americans, get your European countries and languages right, will you? I'll come and speak the lines in Finnish, if it's necessary to teach actors Finnish. Makes me mad, that kind of ignorance.

Why am I not surprised?

Just as I thought things are pretty well in my life, life decides to whack me in the face. Not with a feathery soft pillow either, but more like a sack of rocks...

AAARGGGHH! &#¤*rkl&%*##

Everything is my own fault, there's no arguing that, but I still feel like crap. I just almost broke into tears while speaking to an employee of the Social Insurance Institution... What fun.

It seems that I had too much income in 2003 and now I have to pay back some of my student allowance from way back in November 2003. There's nobody but myself to blame for not noticing it earlier but once again, it really doesn't make it any easier. On the contrary. On top of the fact that I really don't have that kind of money to pay them back with and being unbelievably angry at myself for being such a brainless idiot, I'm furious at the world for letting me be mildly happy for about 4 hours and once again pushing me back into a pothole. Gee, thanks.

Oh, and the fun doesn't stop here. I also may end up having to pay back some of my housing supplement, because my income from last year seems to have been about 160 euros more per month (average) than I had calculated. Which in fact means that I was broke for most of the year but for the month I worked in Nousiainen. I hope that they'll see that from all the papers I have to send them.

Did I mention I have no clue about a job for the summer yet? So my situation is basically no income, just debts. Fun, fun.

So much for a happy weekend. I'm going to spend most of it brooding in a dark corner somewhere. There is a get-together of friends tomorrow, maybe it'll cheer me up a bit...

Maybe I'll go and buy a lottery ticket. I think some kind of karmic law should make me win tomorrow, if I buy a ticket now.